Swimming lessons

So, Elisa is taking swimming lessons.

When I first signed her up for swim lessons I was so excited. She loves the water and loves going swimming. And, since it is May, Greg has a more flexible schedule and is able to watch Jonathan while we go to the pool. So I was picturing this great little Mom and daughter date twice a week: a fun little excursion to the pool where Elisa splashes and plays with the other kids while I talk to a mom friend of mine (whose kids are also in swim lessons).

That is not how it has really turned out.

We just attended our fifth lesson today. Elisa has now been in the pool two times, each time for roughly two minutes. The rest of the time she sits on the wall and watches, and tries not to get splashed in the face.

She is interested in what her class is doing. And at first she was excited... but her timidity outweighed her desire to get into the water. Her class is full of exuberant boys and taught by a male teacher. So I wasn't too surprised when she didn't jump in the water right at first. I figured it would just take her awhile to warm up to her teacher.

But now it has been five sessions. And I'm starting to think that it just may not happen. We are over halfway through (nine sessions total), and I am afraid that she has grown comfortable sitting on the wall... and won't go out of her comfort zone, even to experience the fun games in the water.

It makes me so sad.

I feel like she's totally missing out. And I know she could really like it and have fun, if she was willing to try it.

I've thought A LOT about what my response to this should be. I've thought through my options: verbal pressure, bribery, threats, dropping out, going and acting like it doesn't matter whether she gets in or not, letting her be totally on her own while at the pool, sitting next to her on the edge and encouraging her to try different games... etc. etc. etc.

After a lot of thought I decided that she needs to deal with it on her own. No matter how it turns out... even if she sits on the wall for the entire nine sessions. I don't know if this is the right decision or not. But I know that for her personality it seems to make the most sense. She is fairly shy toward new people and in new settings. She has to be allowed to go at her own pace or she just kind of shuts down. She certainly has a will, and if she decides that she doesn't want to do something, she's not going to do it... at least, not without a battle. I don't want to make swimming some kind of discipline issue. There is something about this situation that is extremely hard for her. (I know this because she fell asleep during rest time after her first two swim classes and she never really takes a nap anymore.) And I decided against any artificial reward system because I think that if she is able to conquer her fear and get in the water, swimming will be it's own reward. If I institute some kind of fake reward it kind of takes away her victory and makes it about something else.

We have her blow bubbles in the tub. We talk about her teacher and the games that she "plays" at the pool. I've ordered some books about swimming from the library. We've gone swimming at the same pool as a family (and we'll try to do this a couple more times). I'm doing anything I can to make her comfortable with the idea of swimming lessons.

But now it's up to her, and I'm afraid she won't get in the pool. It's so hard to sit and watch your kid get left behind. But in this case I have to remind myself, she will learn to swim someday (just maybe not this year), she will learn how to talk to a teacher. This is not really a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

And now I'm starting to think that in swimming lessons what is important is not what Elisa does or doesn't do, but what I teach her through my response to her. In other words, I thought I was signing up for swimming lessons, but what I was really signing up for was parenting lessons.

Joy!

Bean play

A few weeks ago Jonathan and Elisa got up from their naps to discover this:

They dove right in, and let me tell you, the beans did not stay in the bin for long!

I had been meaning to do this for awhile. A friend had mentioned doing something similar with one of her kids, I had tons of dry beans and lentils on hand, and I grew really inspired by a few posts on invitations to play at Childhood 101.

Afterwards clean up was fairly simple. We just dumped the beans into a big container to save for another day, folded up the cloth underneath, and vacuumed.

The next day Elisa wanted to do another "bean play." (Just so you know, we didn't do it.) Elisa still mentions it periodically. I guess we'll have to do it again soon!

Seaside Getaway

For Christmas Wanda gave us a Groupon for a night at a hotel in Seaside and dinner at the hotel restaurant. She also said she'd watch the kids while we went away.

Wow. It was like, the best Christmas present ever. We had such a great weekend away. The weather was perfect: sunny with beautiful blue sky. It had been awhile since we'd been to the beach, and let me tell you, when we got our first glimpse, it took my breath away.

We had so much fun on the beach: flying our kite, throwing the frisbee, walking, and getting our feet just a little bit wet (brrr). We also enjoyed the hotel pool, hot tub, and sauna; ate lots and lots of food; and went on a morning run (after sleeping in). One highlight of the weekend was when I beat Greg at air hockey! First time ever.

When we got back to Wanda's house Elisa shrieked with delight and then ran around like a wild woman. Jonathan saw Greg and RAN to him! Then he contentedly sat on his lap. He's such a Daddy's boy. When he finally did notice me he didn't really show any expression. Just like, "Oh, you're here too. That's nice." It was kind of funny. But I feel like it's about Greg's turn to have one of the kids like him more than me. So I don't begrudge him that.

Happy Easter!

How siblings show affection...

Don't worry. Jonathan is not always the one getting picked on, he sits on Leesi all the time too.

For some reason they think this is a hilarious game.

Look! My kids actually match! It's rare enough to have Elisa wear a whole outfit that doesn't clash in some way. To have them match each other is like, another level. And they even somewhat cooperated for the picture: miracle.

Happy Easter to you all!

Easter Fun

What a beautiful day we had for our Easter egg hunt at church today. It was sunny and warm, a perfect spring day. It was both kids' first egg hunt, and I think it was a hit. When we got home Leesi dumped all her candy on the floor and said, "Let's count my candy." Which was such a big girl kind of thing to say. She's growing up.

Jonathan was in the 2 and under area, which meant there were a bunch of eggs just laying in the grass. He opened an egg and inside he found... fruit snacks!!! Fruit snacks are like his favorite thing ever. He held them out to me and said, "open." Then he wandered around eating fruit snacks for the rest of the time.

On a somewhat related note, I made this purse for Elisa:

I gave it to her this morning for the Easter egg hunt. At first Elisa was walking around trying to hold her eggs and her purse. She didn't quite get that she was supposed to put the eggs in the purse.

It was a great day and we're ready for all our Easter celebrations tomorrow.

There was a little girl...

Last week I started this post...

Ever have one of those days where you doubt in every way your parenting abilities... those days where you are sure that no child in the history of the world has ever behaved so badly and still turned out to be a productive human being?

It was one of those days. Monday was also one of those days.

I feel discouraged.

I then launched into a description of Elisa's behavior. But then I got lost in that, and wasn't quite sure how to wrap up the post. Now, a week later, I feel like I have adequate perspective to be able to finish this post.

The truth is that all of last week was pretty bad. Elisa had many, many time outs last week. She screamed loudly throughout most of these time outs. For some of them, I had to hold her door closed, while she tried wildly to pull it open from the other side. I could go on and on about her bad behavior, but I'll probably get lost in the descriptions again, and never finish the post. So let's just leave it at that.

Monday morning she woke up, a new person. She has been a total sweetheart for most of the week: obedient, loving, kind, fun. Today she had a couple rough patches, but it was a busy whirlwind of a day... so nothing unusual.

She reminds me of the poem about the little girl with a little curl right in the middle of her forehead: when she was good, she was very, very good; and when she was bad, she was horrid.

Parenting is hard, isn't it?

This is the first three year old I've had... so I'm still figuring out how to go about parenting a three year old. I remember a mom telling me, before I had kids, "Read all you can about parenting now, because once you have kids, it's all on the job training." It's really true. As soon as you kind of "figure out" one stage, you're onto the next... and each kid is different. So, while you can learn from the first kid, you still have to readjust your strategies for the next.

Right now I'm reading 1-2-3 Magic. It's a book about discipline and it's given me some good ideas and advice. I'm almost finished with it, and then I'm going to start implementing it. Maybe I'll post more about this later (no promises).

Anyway, thanks for making it this far through my ramblings. I think I just needed to get some of that off my chest. Last week when Elisa was acting so terribly I really did feel alone. I missed all the moms in Arkansas that I used to get together with. I felt like everyone was honest with each other about how our children were (or weren't) behaving... and I just needed someone to tell me, "My kid does that too."

Humble King

Palm Sunday. Jesus rides into Jerusalem on a donkey. Crowds laud him as king, laying down palm branches. Behold your king comes, humble and riding on a donkey (from Zechariah 9).

Today we sang, "I'm kneeling down again, here at your feet. Show me how much you love humility.... You are the God of the broken, friend of the weak. You wash the feet of the weary, embrace the ones in need. I want to be like you Jesus, to have this heart in me. You are the God of the humble. You are the humble king."

It's so relieving to rest before a humble king.

Tilly and Friends

Elisa and I have discovered a fun new book series that she's really into right now. They are by Polly Dunbar and they are the Tilly and Friends books. They have super cute illustrations and sweet short little stories. The book that started us on the Tilly and Friends kick was this one:

It's called Where's Tumpty and it features a big blue elephant named Tumpty who is trying to hide. The cover shows him hiding beneath a large cardboard box, with his eyes tightly shut. There are six characters in the stories, and so far, there are six books: one for each character. They are very sweet and fun to read. My favorite one is probably Doodle Bites. Elisa likes them all.

Jonathan at 18 months

Yesterday Jonathan was officially 18 months. And he is quite the little boy. He continually keeps me on my toes with his penchant for exploring. He is just now becoming more verbal. He doesn't have very many words yet, but I feel like his vocabulary is on the brink of exploding. The last couple of days he has added a new word each day.

Here are his words so far:

Mama

Dadda

hello (how-o)

milk (which also sounds like mama)

up

hot

mine (my!) (hmm, wonder who taught him this one!)

night-night (na-na)

light (lide)

slide (lide)

elmo

ball

bird

balloon (ba-oon!)

apple

all gone or all done

ride

eye

again (eye-en!)

bye bye

a bite

help

walk

He is also becoming a master at various animal sounds. His favorite is the elephant. He loves to cover his mouth with a cup or cardboard tube (or really anything at all) and make a loud "wooooo" sound. The cat and the cow still sound pretty much the same. But his roar is quite good, as is his quack. It's like the deepest most boyish quack I've ever heard. And whenever he sees a dog he gets really excited and pronounces "woof, woof!"