Motivation

Last week I found myself... fatigued... with life. I didn't have my usual energy for parenting. I didn't have any motivation for activities with the kids. We went to the library and got a whole bunch of new books, and that's really what saved me. For most of the week we read books and books and books, because other than that I didn't really feel like doing anything. I felt short and impatient with Elisa. I also felt done with our current lifestyle. Burnt out of living on campus, burnt out of being an RD wife. It was just one of those weeks.

The week before that (so two weeks ago), Greg was gone for the entire week on a Spring Break Mission's trip with students. Luckily, I was able to go up and see my parents for most of that time. (So much better than when we lived in Arkansas with no family within 2,000 miles). But still, I think that week apart from Greg took its toll on me, and fed into the next week of fatigue, sadness, and lack of motivation.

But this week has been much better. I find myself motivated once again. Today we went to the Children's Museum AND the library (doing two things in one day shows a huge amount of motivation on my part, just so you know). The weather was great, and I even got some one-on-one play time with Jonathan outside in the beautiful evening. It was so fun to watch him toddle around, excited by the lichen he found on the ground, excited by the birds, excited by the balloons he saw in someone's dorm room window. We walked up to the dog park where he happily watched the dogs. He even got to pet one. Overall a beautiful, wonderful day.

I also am starting to feel a little re-energized to be living on campus. I was reading today in 2 Corinthians 3-4 about ministry. Chapter 4 ends this way:

"For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

So much of the time I think about how I want to own a house and have a yard. I get so focused on these temporary things, that I lose sight of eternal things. What would it mean for me to "look at things which are not seen"? What does ministering out of a place of surrender mean for me? What if I constantly delivered myself over to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in me? (2 Cor. 4:11) So that is what I am mulling over right now. I'll let you know how it goes.